


Obsidian Glass

by orphan_account



Series: E V E R Y T H I N G • N  O T H I N G [1]
Category: Spider-Man (Ultimateverse)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Dark, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Mind Manipulation, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-03-07 17:21:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18877723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cuts and bruises littered his skin, painting a morbid picture of shattered dreams and tarnished hopes. Pain blossomed from cracked and broken bones, as coiled muscles sent waves of electricity through his dappled skin. Blood pooled out of his wounds forming a crimson puddle around him.





	1. Good and Bad

Spider stared mindlessly up at the cold, gray ceiling. He dared not move. His limbs were cramped but fear overwhelmed his pain. 

Cuts and bruises littered his skin, painting a morbid picture of shattered dreams and tarnished hopes. Pain blossomed from cracked and broken bones, as coiled muscles sent waves of electricity through his dappled skin. Blood pooled out of his wounds forming a crimson puddle around him. 

Crimson droplets and small puddles formed around his skull and arms. Small rivelets streaked down his chest and face, dripping into the ever-growing liquid around him.

The puddle that bothered him the most were the pools around his hips. 

Panic clawed at his sore throat, threatening to drown him in his own blood and tears. His eyes and lungs stung like nettles scraping across his skin. 

His fingers curled in on themselves from a cocktail of shock, pain, and the icy air that tore at his skin like a ravenous animal. He blinked every few seconds, and breathed every five. In between blinks and breathes, he listened closely. He didn't listen for the sound of battle, however. He didn't listen for the shouting of some familiar voice, he didn't listen for the firing of guns or the screaming of guards. 

He had learned to stop listening for those after the first few weeks.

Instead, he listened for the confident footsteps of his master. He listened for the approach of guards to drag him to a conditioning session, or to bring food to his cell.

He knew that he wasn't getting food today, though. He had flinched away when a guard tried to touch his face. He wasn't supposed to do that, and was as such punished. 

He was beaten and cut, then thrown in his cell roughly. They had called him a bad boy. He tried his best to be a good boy, because that meant they'd feed him and take care of him.

So, he waits for the guards to return. This time, when his master walks into his cell, he doesn't move as his master slowly climbs on top of him.

He was a good boy, after all.


	2. Blurr the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making his way through the tri-carrier, Peter found the Prep-Room. Sitting down, he took in everyone who was with him. Luke, Ava, Sam, Danny, Fury, and Coulson all took their seats.
> 
> As Fury explained the mission, Peter sighed.
> 
> It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF RAPE AND TORTURE IN THIS CHAPTER. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Six Months Prior

* * *

It was around 10:00 P.M when Peter got the alert. He was in his bunk, listening to his team's chatter. Luke, Venom, Cloak and Squirrel Girl were throwing a football, while Dagger and Triton watched on. 

Ava and Amadeus were on their devices. Danny was meditating. Sam was arguing loudly with Miles and Scarlet. Everyone else was sleeping.

Peter was about to join them, but the harsh beeping from his communicator interrupted him. Sighing, he motioned to whoever's communicator was also beeping.

Making his way through the tri-carrier, Peter found the Prep-Room. Sitting down, he took in everyone who was with him. Luke, Ava, Sam, Danny, Fury, and Coulson all took their seats.

As Fury explained the mission, Peter sighed.

It was going to be a long night. 

 

It was, indeed, a long night. After suiting up, it took only about 15 minutes to get to their destination. A small base where some ex-hydra operatives were spotted. The older heros were trusted with this, as the Avengers didn't have time to deal with it.

At around 10:30 P.M, they stormed the base. There were only about two dozen soldiers on the first floor, and they all went down quickly.

However, Peter found a trap door. It seemed to lead to another floor. Calling his team over, they all went in. The other S.H.I.E.L.D agents stood by as the teens decended into the dark abyss. 

The room itself was poorly lit. They had to rely on Nova's glow, Danny's fist, and the night-vision goggles built into Peter's mask.

Creeping forward, a bunch of small orbs cane out of the darkness. Landing with a small clunk, they started hissing out gas. 

Yelling at his team to retreat, he turned around only to find hundreds of Hydra soldiers blocking the exit. Behind him, Peter could hear his teamates coughing, then dropping to the ground. 

Turning, he saw everyone but him on the cold, musty floor. Peter still tried to appear strong, but his vision was swaying and he was exhausted. His limbs going numb, he fell to the floor.

The Hydra soldiers quickly rushed forward and tied his limbs together. Curling his arms, they took off his mask, webshooters, and communicator. 

Wheezing, he tried to fight back, but he was too weak. Head spinning, he blacked out.

* * *

Five Months Prior

When Peter had awoken, he was stuck in a freezing, dark, gray room. He had learnt quickly that everytime he didn't listen to one if the guards, he was punished. These punishments included being beaten, tased, cut, and kicked.

This, combined with the lack of food and water whenever he misbehaved, made him weary of disobeying. However, he still looked for escape whenever he could. 

There was another man. Tall, dark, black hair and cold, amber, cat-like eyes. He introduced himself as Peter's 'Master'. The word sent shivers down Peter's spine.

Today, the man had a shock gauntlet in his hands. 

"It's time to work on your training." The man had said. Eyeing the weapon warily, Peter backed away. 

Smirking, the man fired up the gauntlet. Sparks and electricity cracked and spit in his hand.

"Come here, Spider." The man ordered. Peter disobeyed. 

Frowning, the man walked forward. Peter stepped back until he was pinned against the wall.

"Come here, Spider." The man said again, this time with more bite in his voice. Once again, Peter ignored him.

The man responded by gripping Peter's shoulder with the gauntlet. "Bad boy." The man spit out, ignoring Peter's screams of agony.

Releasing the boy, the man stepped back again.

"Come here, Spider." The man said once more. This time, Peter hesitated, but obeyed. 

"Good boy." The man cooed. Stroking his hair lightly, Peter flinched away.

Scoffing the man lifted the gauntlet. Peter cowered slightly, but didn't let the other man see his fear.

"Submit, Spider." The man spat. Peter didn't submit.

Shocking him, the man stepped back once more.

"Lay down, Spider." He commanded. Peter didn't listen. Stubbornly, he lifted his head in an act of defiance.

"No." Peter spat out.

Scowling, the man motioned the guards to leave the room.

"It's clear you don't see me as your master yet. I'll have to fix that." With a shove, the man pushed Peter onto the floor. 

"Rule 1: Always obey your master." The man said as he pinned Peter beneath him. Peter kicked and struggled but the man was too powerful. 

"Rule 2: Don't fight back." The man said as he pressed the gauntlet against Peter's neck. The boy stopped writhing beneath him. Swallowing his screams, Peter began crying.

"Please. Don't." He whimpered, but the man continued. 

"Rule 3: No talking." The man hooked his fingers around Peter's pants, pulling them down. Tearing off the teen's boxers he rubbed Peter's thighs. 

"No, stop. Don't." The teen sobbed out, but the man simply shocked him again.

"What did I JUST say?" The man hissed out as he unbuckled his pants. 

"Rule 4: Submit to your master." The man rubbed himself against Peter's thighs. 

"Rule 5: You exist only to serve your master." The man, Master? Master positioned himself. With a moan, he pushed himself into the boy. 

Peter let out a scream as 'Master' pushed his full length into the boy. Grappling the younger's legs, Master pushed the boy as far onto himself as Peter could possibly fit.

"Rule 6:" the man gasped out. "Be a good boy. Good boys are given food, water, and protection." The man started to slowly rock his hips. 

Tears spilled from Peter's eyes as the man thrusted into him softly. Pain blossomed from his hips. Unbearable pain and panic washed over him.

"Stop! Please, I'll do what you want, I promise, just please stop!" He begged, but the man shocked him.

"Rule 7: Don't be a bad boy. Bad boys are hit, beaten, and don't get food or water." The man hissed in his ear as he picked up speed. 

Peter felt the horrifying slap of skin on skin as 'Master' started to full on hump him. Groans and moans escaped Master's lips as he went wild.

"Rule 8: You belong to me, and nobody else. You're MY pet, MY slave, MY Spider." The man spat as he put his all into his thrusts.

Peter felt nothing but immobilizing pain. Cold horror filled his gut as he also realized he felt small amounts of pleasure.

The man suddenly thrust a bit to the side. A gasp escaped Peter's lips against his will. Disgust at himself filled his very being as his body betrayed him.

Closing his eyes, Peter wished it all away. What felt like hours but was probably only minutes passed by. Finally. The man above him bucked and groaned. Biting Peter's neck, the man pulled out. Blood, cum and sweat pooled out of him. 

The man left Peter there.

* * *

 

Four Months Prior

* * *

~~Peter~~  Spider lay on the ground. He tried his best not to break the rules after the first... incident... But he slipped up sometimes. 

Everyday, Master would come into the room. He would go over the commands. If  ~~Peter~~  Spider didn't listen, he would get shocked.

His commands were simple. "Come here, Spider." "Lay down, Spider." "Submit, Spider." The worst command came whenever master was in a bad mood. 

 ~~Peter~~  Spider tried not to think about that command, but it echoed around his skull. 

"Undress, Spider." 

Master told him that  ~~it~~  was a gift, that he should be honored. Peter didn't break the rules, so he didn't question it.

He would be a good boy.

* * *

 

 

Three Months Prior

* * *

Spider stared at the wall. He was sitting on Master's lap. The older man was pleasuring himself using Spider's body. 

Spider ignored it all, simply keeping his body submissive and his mind blank. 

His Master whispered the rules to him. Master was unbuckling his pants and pulling down Spider's underwear-- No, don't think about that. Remember the rules.

1\. Always obey your Master. 

Master's cold hands gripped Spider's hips. 

2\. Don't fight back.

Master pushed himself into Spider with a slight groan.

3\. No talking.

Master lifted Spider up and down on his member.

4\. Submit to your master.

Master bit into the delicate, yet scarred flesh on Spider's neck.

5\. You exist only to serve your master.

Moans ricocheted through the room like bullets, load enough so that anybody listening could hear.

Nobody was listening.

6\. Be a good boy.

Spider's dull eyes widened a bit as Master hit his sensitive spot again and again.

7\. Don't be a bad boy.

Master suddenly bucked, dropped Spider down roughly on top of him. Spider bit back a whimper.

8\. You belong to me and nobody else.

Master lay down, his body curled around Spider. Spider lay still, allowing his Master to maneuver him however he may like. Spider whimpered ever so slightly at the movement, as he was still attached to his Master.

"Good boy?" He asked softly.

"Yes. Good boy." Master replied.

* * *

 ~~~~ Two Months Prior

* * *

Spider's memories faded along with his individuality. Everytime his Master came into the room, used him, and whispered the rules into his ear, bits and pieces of himself fell away.

Spider remembered something about his team, and about how he's pretty sure their dead. He remembers a life outside of these walls, but it seemed jaded.

He doesn't seem to remember his Master, and the thought scarred him. Anything and anywhere without his Master was dangerous.

Spider felt as if his soul was obsidian. He was dark and lifeless, used again and again with no purpose. 

However, whenever he was around Master, he felt parts if the stone shatter into little blades of obsidian glass. Sharp to the touch, yet fragile.

Each night before he slept, Spider repeated the rules to himself again and again. They were his lifeline. They gave him a code to follow, a type of life to live.

He was a good boy. He would not be a bad boy. He remembered what happens to bad boys. 

He was a good boy.

* * *

One Month Prior

* * *

_Spider awoke in his cell, but this time he was watching himself. He remembered this. He was curled up in the corner._

_One of the guards tried to mate him, so Spider bit him. The guard called him a bad boy, and then he started punishing Spider._

_They shocked him with the gauntlet, burned him with lighters, held him back with sharp wires, and stabbed him with sharp objects. They kicked and punched him until his vision swam, all while repeating the same words._

_"Bad boy, bad Spider."_

_"You know what happens to bad boys, don't you?"_

_"Bad."_

_Then, when he was unconscious, they tied a gag to him and left him splayed out on the ground._

_He awoke later, feeling sore and pathetic. He vowed to always be a good boy from then on. And if that meant mating with a few guards now and then, he could deal with it._

Spider awoke for real this time. A guard was delivering his food. Spider quickly averted his eyes and showed his belly. 

The guard smirked condescendingly. Then, without doing anything, the guard left. Spider was relieved, but he didn't let it show. He didn't let any emotion show anymore.

That was one of the unspoken rules.

9\. Don't show emotion.

10\. Don't move unless someone says you can.

Inching forward to eat, Spider listened for the sound of approaching guards.

He was a good boy.


	3. Step on the Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The figure stepped towards Spider, and he instinctively cowered. The figure flinched back. 
> 
> "Kid?" The voice asked, it's tone gentle and non-threatening. Spider submitted anyway. Even if this human wasn't with Master, Spider didn't want to risk upseting him.
> 
> "It's okay, kid. I'm not going to hurt you." The figure said. "I'm Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. Do you... Do you recognize me?" The creature, Iron Man, trembled slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drinking game: Take a sip Everytime you see the word 'Master'. Drink at your own risk.

 Time passed by in the dreary cell. It was the same, day after day. An endless void of pain and fear, broken by Master and the guards bringing food.

With each passing day in this shadow abyss, Spider drifted closer to oblivion.

His limbs froze, but Master warmed him up. Spider was safe when he was with Master. Anytime Master was away, Spider was in danger. Spider needed Master. Spider loved Master.

As Master lay next to a dazed, disheveled Spider, he gently stroked the teen's head. Spider tried his best to force down the purr rumbling in his chest, but it broke out.

Instead of being punished like he expected, Master laughed and pressed himself further against the boy. Spider responded by purring louder.

Sounds drifted to Spider's sensitive ears as he fell into a hazy half-asleep. His head buzzed suddenly. There was a threat! 

Jumping up, he hissed at the door. His master looked annoyed, but after seeing that Spider was scared of something, he took control. Stepping in front of Spider, Master pushed Spider down. Drawing his gun, Master faced the door.

Suddenly, four shadowy figures burst through the door. Spider cowered away from them as three of them dragged Master away. He could hear Master's anger and pain, and that scared him.

The fourth figure was about to leave, but Spider couldn't suppress the whimper. Snapping it's red-and-gold head towards him, pale blue eyes met Spider's. 

The figure stepped towards Spider, and he instinctively cowered. The figure flinched back. 

"Kid?" The voice asked, it's tone gentle and non-threatening. Spider submitted anyway. Even if this human wasn't with Master, Spider didn't want to risk upseting him.

"It's okay, kid. I'm not going to hurt you." The figure said. "I'm Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. Do you... Do you recognize me?" The creature, Iron Man, trembled slightly.

Spider was confused. He didn't recognize this human. 'Iron Man' kept calling him 'kid', but the man seemed to be afraid. 

So, Spider did the thing that Master made him do whenever he was upset. He lay down on his side, and exposed his neck. He was vulnerable. The man could kill him in an instant, or he could mate Spider. Adding on a pathetic whimper, Spider stretched out to complete the act.

"Oh kid, what did they do to you?" The man asked sadly. Spider whined. The man wasn't doing anything. Wasn't mating Spider, wasn't beating him, wasn't even touching him. Confusion made Spider try harder.

Bright lights shined into the cell. 

"Holy hell it's freezing in here." A soft male Scottish voice remarked. 

"Shush. Stark's got the situation under control. We just need to do this and we're good." A female British voice responded.

Spider tensed up as the people approached.

"Do you remember  _anything?_ " The man asked, desperate. 

Simply cowering, Spider made sure to stay still as the others approached. They inserted a needle into his neck. Relief flooded his body as he felt the warm hands on his throat.

Purring softly, Spider drifted off.

* * *

When Spider awoke, he was strapped down in a soft bed. Spider didn't like beds. Master only allowed him on the bed when it was time to mate, but none of these strangers seemed willing to mate.

This confused Spider. Why else would they have him here? One of the rules was that Spider existed only to serve his Master. 

Perking up, Spider searched to room for his Master. Dread and fear tore at his heart as he realized that nobody else was with him. 

He needed his Master! He wasn't safe without him. Master protected and fed him. Spider was in danger.

Whining and whimpering, Spider tugged forcefully at his restraints. Growling in frustration, Spider started yowling.

However, Spider remembered the rules at the last second. His Master wouldn't like it if he made too much noise. He needed to be well well behaved for when Master came back.

Relaxing, Spider closed his eyes. He missed the familiar people that provided safety and protection. 

He missed his Master, who gave him everything and only asked for him to follow the rules. His missed Mate, the lead guard who has taken a liking to him. He missed Doctor, who Master said was simply making sure everything was okay.

When he went through everyone he knew, Spider went over the rules. He listed them off again and again until another human came into the room. He only had one arm. 

"Hello, Peter." The man said. Was he talking to Spider?

"That is your name, correct?" The man asked.

Shaking his head, the man frowned. 

"What is your name, then?" He asked. Spider wisely didn't respond. He knew it was against the rules to talk.

"Peter? Peter, what did they call you?" The man tried again. Spider simply narrowed his eyes. He wouldn't fall for that trick again.

Sighing, the man shook his head softly. 

"Well, my name is Doctor Curt Connors. I'm just gonna check in your injuries. That okay with you?" Spider didn't know how to respond. What did Connors mean by that?

When Connors didn't get a reply, he went and checked the machines anyway. While he worked, the man talked.

"Your team's doing good." The man said. Spider was really confused now.

"Nova was beaten a few times, but he'll recover. Same thing with Luke. Danny is convinced he's not worthy of his powers, but Strange is helping him through that. Ava's terrified of everything and everyone, but it'll pass." The man paused.

"Everyone's really worried about you. They care about you, and they need you." Spider knew that was a lie. He didn't even remember these people! And besides, nobody except Master cared about him.

Upon seeing Spider's confused face, Connors froze.

"You... You really don't remember anything, do you?" Connors asked. Spider growled softly in response.

Shaking his head softly, Connors left the room, thankfully turning off the lights behind him. With a content sigh, Spider closed his eyes. He listed the rules in his mind over and over until his body drifted into sleep.

 


	4. Staple Your Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, when New Mate and New Doctor approached, he quickly submitted. The others seemed displeased at this. Perhaps they were looking for more of a fight?
> 
> New Doctor did his rounds on the machine, while New Mate seemed to be observing Spider. 
> 
> Closing his eyes, Spider stayed completely silent. Instead of growling at Connors, he kept his eyes half-closed. This only seemed to unnerve the others more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you it anyone you know is thinking of suicide ot self-harm, please follow this link to the Suicide Prevention Hotline:
> 
> https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=tel:1-800-273-8255&ved=2ahUKEwiC2sqouK3iAhVvQt8KHVY5BGwQ1EMoADAAegQIDRAD&usg=AOvVaw20tYFHpjwF8KbAaRgHIb5U 
> 
> If someone you know is suffering from abuse of ANY kind, please make sure you check in with someone who can help. 
> 
> YOU ARE NOT ALONE. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR YOU. PLEASE KEEP TRYING YOUR BEST, PLEASE KEEP LIVING.

Days passed by with the same routine. The man, Connors, came into the room, checked the machines, and said confusing things. 

Connors would offer food to Spider, and after making sure Spider ate, he'd leave. 

Spider was growing anxious. He'd never been away from Master for so long. He at least needed someone to give him commands. Connors definitely not in charge. 

So, Spider waited. Eventually, a dark-skinned man walked into the room. He was followed closely by Connors and another man.

Spider perked up. This human was clearly in charge. You could see it in the way he held himself, and the way the others followed him.

The man only had one eye, Spider noticed. That meant he was a fighter. 

Purring softly, Spider watched for a reaction. All three of them seemed pleasantly surprised.  

The man hesitated for a split second, then walked forward. Stopping next to Spider's bed, the man seemed to search Spider's gaze. 

Spider purred softly. Stretching out to show his belly as best he could, he whined. The man looked saddened, before setting his face to stone again.

Stepping back, the man left Spider. Letting out a confused whine, Spider tilted his head. Where was New-Master going? Wasn't he going to do anything?

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, Spider turned to the other two. He realized that these two reminded him if Doctor and Mate. 

If the other man was his New Master, then these two were his New Doctor and New Mate.

This time, when New Mate and New Doctor approached, he quickly submitted. The others seemed displeased at this. Perhaps they were looking for more of a fight?

Doctor did his rounds on the machine, while New Mate seemed to be observing Spider. 

Closing his eyes, Spider stayed completely silent. Instead of growling at Connors, he kept his eyes half-closed. This only seemed to unnerve the others more.

Eventually, New Mate took New Doctor over to the corner. Spider could hear their whispering, so it was pretty useless.

"Connors... What did they do to him?" New Mate said.

"Well, we found signs of torture such as electricution, beating, starvation, along with others. When we found him he was severely malnurished and in shock. He... He seems to be dissociating, and has trace amounts of brain damage."

New Mate shook his head softly. 

"I don't like it. He shouldn't be this submissive. He used to be rebellious, he NEVER listened to us! Now, you just look at him oddly and he just... breaks." New Mate ended the small rant with a frustrated sigh.

"I know. I almost prefer him growling and snarling at me, rather than him just laying there." New Doctor looked hesitant for a second.

"Connors? What is it? What do you know?" New Mate questioned.

Another sigh.

"When I examined him, there were signs of... sexual abuse...." New Doctor went on, seemingly choosing his next words very carefully. 

New Mate froze, the color draining from his already-pale face.

"What?" The man whispered softly.

"He... He'd been raped. Repeatedly and violently, by different men. From what we can tell, it was mostly just two." Connors murmured, regret and grief in his voice. 

New Mate shook his head violently, before running out of the room. Spider could hear the man's elevated heartbeat and labored breathing, and could see the tears streaming down the man's face.

Spider was confused. What were they talking about? Spider didn't recognize those words, but the other two men seemed so concerned.

New Doctor shook his head, and followed his companion out if the room. Turning off the light, they left Spider to think about the odd interaction.

 


	5. These Words are Knives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why didn't you just listen?" He croaked out. He fell to the floor. His eyes met with the blank stare if his past self, now alone.
> 
> "Why?" He whispered, eyeing the broken shell of himself abandoned on the floor. He truly was pathetic. Dirt lay in a thin layer on his face, unbroken only by small tear tracks. His mouth leaked a small rivulet of blood, and his hair was tangled and matted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its 11:10 P.M, I have a fever of 100.2, allergies are straight up murdering me and my throat is so raw Miley Cyrus could make it into a dress

Spider didn't remember falling asleep, but he does remember dreaming of dark thoughts. The dream was a memory, and Spider was watching it happen again and again.

Like a video on loop, Spider watched himself rebel against his Master.

 _"No." His past self spat out defiantly._  Idiotic fool. 

Spider turned away. He closed his eyes and tried to pretend he was somewhere else. Anywhere else.

He could feel the pain of his past self. He could feel the terror and pain as he was forced onto the ground. He could feel the despair as he was pinned to the ground and forced upon.

He could hear the rules echoing throughout his skull. He could hear his own pained screamed and terrified whimpers. 

He could smell the scent of blood and feel the cold floor beneath him. He could taste sweat and bile. 

He could feel the salty tears rolling down his own cheeks. 

 _"WHY DIDNT YOU SUBMIT!? WHY DID YOU FIGHT BACK?!"_ Spider screamed at himself. He screamed at himself until his voice was raw and his throat was bleeding.

"Why didn't you just  _listen?"_ He croaked out. He fell to the floor. His eyes met with the blank stare if his past self, now alone.

"Why?" He whispered, eyeing the broken shell of himself abandoned on the floor. He truly was pathetic. Dirt lay in a thin layer on his face, unbroken only by small tear tracks. His mouth leaked a small rivulet of blood, and his hair was tangled and matted.

Turning away, Spider could feel phantom pain crawling down his body. If he focused, he could feel his wrists being gripped by large, calloused hands. He could feel a slimy tongue snaking its way down his neck. He could feel the brushing of two hips.

He could also feel someone grabbing his arm. Those hands didn't belong to his Master, or his Mate.

Stumbling, Spider collapsed and awoke. Panic filled his being. Spider was being attacked!

Hissing and growling, Spider thrashed violently, trying to shake off his attackers. Terror made him reckless. He didn't even think if these men were with Master or not.

Someone was trying to push him down, except Spider didn't see a pair of smooth, young hands trying to get him to settle down. Spider saw a pair of rough hands pinning him to the floor. He saw dark, dirty walls and a man above him.

Wailing, Spider stopped struggling. Whimpering, he let himself be pinned. He wouldn't fight back like the first time. He couldn't.

Screwing his eyes shut, Spider did the one thing he knew to calm himself. He repeated the rules.

In his head, he chanted the words like they were an ancient prophecy to save the world. He flinched as each word brought back an unwelcome memory. 

However, Spider continued until he couldn't feel anything. He repeated the words until the voices we're muffled and the lights were dull.

He continued until every racing thought in his head stilled and faded to ash. He didn't stop when his body stopped .He didn't stop when the others noticed his plummeting conciousness. 

He continued until his jaded edges were smoothed into shards of Obsidian Glass.

Distinctly, Spider thought he heard someone screaming something at him. Spider felt someone shake him roughly, but Spider was too far gone. He was nowhere and everywhere at once. 

He felt as if this was a dream, except he knew it wasn't. The only dreams he had were of that night.

Spider smiled faintly to himself as he fully let go. He was now free to float aimlessly, until someone somehow snapped him out of his dissociative state.

* * *

* * *

Spider managed to find his way back. When he came too, he wasn't alone. New Mate was at the foot of the bed. When Spider chirped out a greeting, New Mate abruptly turned around.

The man seemed to eye him a bit, before sighing. What felt like a decade of silence was broken as New Mate started talking.

At first it was just nonsense, New Mate getting no response other than a few purrs and growls. Even when New Mate asked him questions, Spider did not reply with words. 

Another uncomfortable silence passed by before New Mate asked Spider one last question.

"Why don't you speak?" He asked Spider. Spider didn't answer.

Sighing, New Mate stood up. Just as he was about to exit the room, Spider spoke for the first time in months 

"Because it's against the rules." Spider spoke softly and quietly, as if he were afraid that someone would hear and punish him.

New Mate froze at this, before quickly leaving the room.

Spider was alone again. 

 _Are you truly alone when you have your own thoughts as company?_ He asked himself. Deciding that he didn't care, Spider let himself drift back into a fitfull sleep.

His dreams were plagued with nightmares and phantom pains.


	6. 'Cause Kindness is Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly, the air he was breathing tasted sickly sweet and thick. Spider felt as if he were choking. 
> 
> Were they trying to kill him?
> 
> Thrashing around widely, Spider tried to escape. His vision blurred and swam. Wailing, Spider wondered what he did wrong.

Spider dreampt of piercing, stone cold eyes glaring at him through the shadows. He dreampt of returning, he dreampt of running into his master's arms.

He dreampt of going home.

The warmth of Master against him was torn away by the feeling of smooth hands on his shoulders.

Hissing, Spider was pulled from his dream and into the blinding light of the room.

Jerking, Spider hissed at the foreign hands on him. New Doctor stood above him, cooing slightly.

Motioning to somebody else, he turned back to Spider. Speaking words that didn't make sense to Spider's sleep-muddled brain, New Doctor placed a small mask on Spider's face.

Suddenly, the air he was breathing tasted sickly sweet and thick. Spider felt as if he were choking. 

_Were they trying to kill him?_

Thrashing around widely, Spider tried to escape. His vision blurred and swam. Wailing, Spider wondered what he did wrong.

Then, he remembered. He spoke to New Doctor. He broke the rules. Yowling, Spider's vision started to fade to black.

Suddenly, cold hands brushed against his throat. Spider instinctively went limp. Compliance was the only thing on his hazy mind. 

Moving his head and stretching his body, he showed he was submissive and compliant.

Whimpering, Spider felt his conciousness fade into nothingness.

* * *

 

Pain was the first thing Spider felt when he awoke. Pain, followed by fear and the instinct of submission.

He was alone, so Spider curled up as much as he could. He waited for a while before beginning to drift off. 

Closing his fogged eyes, he could feel himself drifting off into sweet nothingness.

_Spider could feel cold concrete below him and wet, musty air around him. He could feel the crushing darkness and thundering silence weigh down on him like a sinister blanket._

_Home?_

_Letting out a small chirp, Spider tested the waters. Nothing happened. Curling into a small ball, Spider lifted his head._

_Chriping again and again, Spider waited for something to happen. He waited for the scolding of a guard or the arrival of his master._

_Nothing happened for a long while. Eventually, Spider gave up with the chirping. Instead, he lay his head down and rested._

_He didn't feel tired, which was odd. He was constantly tired nowadays._

_Hunger didn't claw at his stomach, and the cold didn't bite into his limbs. For the first time in a while, Spider was satisfied._

_Perking up, Spider heard the approach of his Master. Purring, he waited patiently for Master to walk in and lay down._

_"C'mere, Spider." Master commanded. Complying, Spider curled up against his Master's chest._

_It felt like forever since they've done this._

_Purring loudly, Spider let himself get lost in the soft touches of his Master._

_He was finally home._

 

 

 


	7. A fate worse than death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The silvery flakes of despair drifting downwards in the light of a jaded moon. The wings of a blackbird that had been shot from the sky

_Stop. Breathe in._

_What do you see?_

**_The silvery flakes of despair drifting downwards in the light of a jaded moon. The wings of a blackbird that had been shot from the sky. Cold concrete and wet stone. Rusty chains and bruised skin. Perilous glass and discarded love. Blood bubbling from your lips as you lie on the ground, submission pounded into your soul._ **

_Listen. Breathe out._

_What do you hear?_

**_The opening of a door. The flexing of muscles. The drawing of a weapon. Your heartbeat, too fast for a human but too erratic for an animal. The steady dripping of moisture; perhaps maybe even your own blood._ **

_Wait. Breathe in._

_What do you smell?_

_**The rancid scent of infected wounds left to fester. The charred scent of burnt flesh and electricity.** _

_Listen. Breathe out._

_What do you taste?_

**_The taste of copper in the corner of your mouth. The dry feeling of dehydration on your tongue and your the saltiness of your tears._ **

_Pause. Breathe in._

_What do you feel?_

**_The crippling lack of emotion. An uninhabitable room beneathe you. A man placing his hand over your mouth above you. Cold skin, unbearable hunger, painful dehydration, the agony of wounds trying to heal but cannot._ **

_Can you hear that? Somebody's trying to wake you up._

**_I'm already awake._ **

_Do not listen to the voices. They will lead you into a cruel, unforgiving world without your master. They will lie, scream, beg, and cry for you to wake up. If you do, they will kill you._

**_I'm not leaving. I'm already awake._ **

_Stay with your master. You are already awake. Obey the rules. Do not listen to the voices. Outside, where they will try to lead you, it's very cold and dangerous._

**_I'm not leaving._ **

_Good. This is your home._

**_This is my home._ **

 

 

~~Please wake up.~~


	8. Waiting Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song is 'Waiting Here' By Norah Jones, by the way.

The first thing to fade was his conciousness. He started to sleep more and awake less. He could tell the others were concerned, but Spider didn't care. All he cared about was that he was bone tired.

The next thing to fade was his ability to wake up. He slept deeper, and for longer. He forgot how to wake up on his own, and required others to shake him out of it. 

That faded next. He was faintly aware of loud noises and precenses next to him, but he couldn't wake up.

_Do you want to?_

After that, his dreams. They became rarer, and didn't last as long. At first, Spider was distressed. He needed to see be with his Master. 

Of course, that too soon became a distant memory. He no longer recognized outside forces. He only knew of a blank void. Sometimes the void was a blinding white, sometimes it was an infinite black. One thing was constant: Spider could never escape.

Spider felt like he was falling. He could feel his body function, but he couldn feel nothing else. Not even emotion.

Then, his ability to recognize anything. He could think, but he couldn't feel. He became air, floating around in a bottle. Trapped, but non-sentient.

Finally, his thought. He truly became nothing, just an innocent soul, lost in its own mind. 

Occasionally Spider would hear a whisper. It told him the Rules. It spoke of his Master. It warned him not to disobey, and not to wake up. 

Spider didn't even know how to do that.

Once, while Spider was floating, he heard a small plea. This voice was odd. It did not belong to the Whisper, nor to anyone Spider knew. It begged him to wake up, pleaded him to come back.

Spider didn't understand, and eventually the plea faded. 

* * *

An infinite amount of time passed. Negative distance was traveled, and reality inverted itself over and over again.

Of course, Spider knew none of this. It simply was. 

The Whisper stayed. The Plea had long since faded. Now, however, there was a lullaby. Always the same time, always the same voice, but always coming in fragments.

It had been so long since Spider had heard the voice that he didn't recognize it. He only knew it belonged to someone special, so he listened.

_"Hush now, watch the stars fall, into a fire wall."_

Spider felt his body twitch. For the briefest of seconds, a memory played in his mind and Spider could feel. He could breathe, he could  _live._

But then, it was stripped away. Static fire feasting on his speciality, tearing his apart at the seams; robbing him of his individuality.

_"I am waiting here, waiting for you to come home."_

Again, Spider felt himself flinch. 

_She needed him._

**_Who?_ **

_I don't know._

He felt his hopes pile up. Memories and ambitions, a unique personality stolen and squashed by a stranger. Understated words and forgotten promises.

_"Sinking embers glow, melting icy snow."_

A soft lullaby, hushing the Whisper and curling around Spider's frozen body. A distant song, a quiet tune. It shielded him from the monsters that haunted his dreams. It reminded him of what was true, what was real.

_"And I am waiting here, eating for you to come home."_

Light shone through the dark. Soft shadows offered shade in the light. It protected him from the monster in his mind. The one that whispered rules to him and  ~~raped~~ used him.

_"And I watch them burn, when will I ever learn?"_

The lullaby also brought back the memories of his Master. Spider knew he had to obey him. The lullaby was tempting, but Spider knew where his loyalties lie. He had to stay with his Master.

_"If I wait, it doesn't mean you will return."_

The rush of adrenaline. The feeling of pride and strength. The screaming of his team. The overbearing darkness and the sting of a syringe. The grabbing of hands, dragging his half-concious form into a cold room.

_"Now all the stars have gone, faded into cracks of dawn."_

The burning of flesh. The rebellion of a fool. The annoyance of a king. The pain of one and the pleasure of the other. The abandoned body of a used pet, a broken toy, a dirty slave.

_"And I'm still waiting here, waiting for you to come home."_

The torture and prolonged abuse of a discarded life. The pain as the fading light was manipulated to fit it's Master's demands.

_"I am waiting here, waiting for you to come home."_

The rush of adrenaline. The feeling of submission and obedience. The screaming of his Master. The overbearing darkness and the sting of a syringe. The grabbing of red-and-gold metal hands, carrying his body to a warm room.

Spider could see a hole on the edge of this horrid reality. He pushed his way towards it. There was a barrier, and Spider fought against it.

Just as Spider was about to break through, the other memories came rushing back. The memories of being used and abused in the worst ways possible. And just like that, at the slightest memory, Spider felt himself give up even more.

There was no hope. He just drifted.

_So close._

 


End file.
